Love, Heartbreak And Emotional Intelligence

Love, Heartbreak And Emotional Intelligence

Love, Heartbreak And Emotional Intelligence: If you are heart broken because the one you love feels nothing in return for you, I say this to you, don’t kill yourself.

It is true that you truly and genuinely gave your heart to this person, you literally gave your all hoping that this person will show you love in return, but instead, you got the opposite.

No doubt it hurts remembering all the efforts you made. Those times you sacrificed yourself. How you placed this person above and over everything. How you closed your eyes to all the flaws you saw. How you pushed away genuine friends who came your way just because of this person.

Looking back at all that happened, you felt you were a fool. You felt used. To make matters worst, you can’t still get this person out of your mind. And it is driving you mad.

If you will listen to me, the first thing I would like to say to you is, don’t hate yourself and don’t kill yourself.

I am not writing this to make you feel good, nor to justify whatever that was done to you. I just felt I should remind you of this truth. Going through heart break and coming out of it is a very important and integral aspect of one’s emotional growth, emotional maturity, emotional intelligence, and emotional stability.

There are certain things that only experience can teach you. Losing a job, losing a loved one, being rejected by the person you love. Very often, you only understand these things when you experience them. And if you succeed in standing strong, your understanding of life and emotional maturity will increase.

While you hate the heartbreak, treasure the lessons and grow to be emotionally balanced.

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I know of a super intelligent friend when it comes to book, but will score zero when it comes to emotional intelligence. This is why it is not out of place to see a first class student committing suicide.

I have seen people who are very wealthy and famous but are not emotionally mature. This is why most of our musicians, even with their money, fame, and musical success, will still act and talk like a child when negative comments are thrown at them. I am tempted to mention names, but I will not.

And so, there are many people on our street, physically they are big, materially they have so much, intellectually they are top notch, but let any thing hit them emotionally, they crash.

As a person, I cannot stay with someone who is emotional unbalanced. It is draining. For them, life is one way traffic. That is why they can be easily deceived and they don’t recover easily from it.

I am sorry that this is getting too long. . .

Don’t regret ever loving. Rather, regret not loving enough.

Don’t ever make the mistake of thinking that love is all about giving. No! To love is to know when and how to give and at what proportion; to Know when and how to withhold and at what proportion. Love is a continuous decision making.

For example, you don’t love your child because you give him ice cream anytime he ask for it, nor anytime he says he is not going to school, you clap for him and ask him to go and sleep.

This is what is wrong with our generation. Someone says, sex is love . . .boom, you are having sex. Money is love. . . Boom you have sold all you have to give out money. No discipline. Important things are ignored.

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Again do not take because you fell in love, then you become so attached almost as though you cannot do anything on your own.

You literally cannot stay a minute without your lover. You even follow him or her to the toilet and enjoy the smells. At the beginning it may look romantic, but soon it will become suffocating.

One day the person you are loving may not bear it again because it will look like he or she can’t even live a life of their own. Then he or she starts withdrawing gradually, that is if the person wants to be nice. Often the person won’t break up directly with you because of the hurt it will cause you.

Then after break up, you will come and start crying how you gave the person everything. Actually you are right, the break up is because you simply don’t know when to give and when not to give.

Last words: don’t run after love, rather run after being loving and love will run after you.


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1 Comment

Ada · August 9, 2019 at 10:28 pm

OK. But we like you to explain this “don’t run after love, rather run after being loving and love will run after you” cos I don’t get it. Thanks. Nice write up.

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