What A Catholic Priest Did

Read This story To The End

Read This story To The End: He was well dressed. He drove the latest Range Rover Sports. He parked his car just in front of the church to the admiration of everyone as he walked towards our minister. He brought out a very fat envelope for prayers. The type of envelope that is obese. Obviously, the envelope ate more than it could carry. Our guess was that he came to pay his tithe personally to our pastor. It was on a working day. Probably he was too busy on Sunday or did not attend service at all, or maybe, just maybe, he wanted one-on-one prayers.

So, the minister asked him to bow his head in prayers. Other times, we have seen the minister ask old men or women with lekpa type of envelope to kneel down. But this one is special. The envelope is not even orobo, it is obese. Who does not like them big? So, bowing is what the voice told him. So, our pastor collected the envelope from the man’s hand. The man looked rather surprised. And just immediately, he was asked to close his eyes.

At the left arm of our pastor, is the fat envelope pressed in-between his ambit; at his right hand, is his 3kg bible lifted to the sky.

Then the next thing we heard was a loud voice from our pastor, “Fada Lawd! In dah naym of chisossss!” Each word was pronounced with a special emphasis.

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Then he paused for a while. His face squeezed like one who mistakenly drank water that was gotten through squeezed bitter leaves. His eyes firmly closed in a very compressed way. His upper and lower lips are widely opened and separated from each other, but the teeth cling together. Though no words came out except what sounded like onions poured into very hot oil – “sssshhhhhshshshsh.” That was all we heard.

Immediately, we knew the spirit has possessed our pastor. It was not long, we heard, “Shakama-sucro-rano! Mah-mah-mah-mah-mah ramamama!”

Then, after sometimes we heard “sssssshhhhhhhssshshshhh!” Looking more like another onions were poured again into the boiling oil.

Then he continued, “I kan cee dem. Dey ah afta your lyf. Dey ah afta your biznes. Dey ah afta your family. Dey ah from your Village. Dey don’t like your proogress. In dah naym of chisosss, I distroy dem with dah Oly Goes….. Faya!!!!”

Then, the third “sssssshhhhhhhhhsshshshshh!!!” This time around, every part of him was already vibrating. His head was shaking; his hand with the bible was rotating. His suit was jumping. Sweats were coming out. Then we knew that there will be lots of things to cast out from this rich man.

“All dose planning your death, I decree as da PRofet of Gad, unless I am not a PRofet of Gad. Psalm 118:17 you sha nor dye. You sha nor dye. You sha nor dye. You sha nor dye. Sakamama-rocro-singamomomo robomaka.

“I say you sha nor dye. But you sha live. Your biznes sha prospa. This year is your year. You sha buy a new jet. You shall buy a house in London.

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“All those against your progress. . .Oly Goes…… Faya!!!

“And for this tithe, May God bless it in the Naym of Chisos. Amen. May this tithe grow bigger than Iroko tree. Amen! Because of dis tithe, you sha nor lack, in chisos Naym we pray. Amen!”

Then, the man stretched his hands as he try to collect back his envelope and for the first time spoke, “thank you so much for blessing this money. My friend who is not even a Christian gave it to me to bless it for him. He wants to begin a business with it. So I advised him to pray over the money. Thank you so much, pastor.”

He collected his envelope, walked towards his car, and no one saw him again.

Then our pastor entered his room. We heard him taking his shower because the sweating was getting too much even after the man left. We could not tell if it was the sweat of the prayers, or the sweat that the envelope was collected from him.

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